ShareMyHeart Blog

ShareMyHeart.com - The Many Married Man

I have been married 5 times in the past 38 years.  Sometimes it's embarrassing to admit, thoughts like "Jeez Stephen, what's your problem?" crawl through my mind. 

Looking back, I realized that I started out with a very, very limited perspective on what marriage was, but more importantly, I had a very, very small view of who I was.  It turned out that being married 5 times was mostly a journey into who I was.  Marriage taught me a lot about me.

I learned that being married was not going to make me happy if I was not happy in the first place.  Marriage is not an answer to problems, but it may be a path to solving them. 

Intimate relationship with other human beings is our most powerful way to learn about life and ourselves.  I happened to use marriage as my primary path to learn about me.  Of course, looking back I must admit that I was so shy in younger years that if a woman smiled at me I thought we were soul mates.  And why date when you can skip all that prelim. stuff and just get married.  I had so much to learn.

I am going to use this blog, ShareMyHeart, to do just that.  Share my heart about what I have learned, and have yet to learn, about marriage and intimate relationships and me.  My hope is that this sharing will do some good, perhaps help others on their journeys. 

So let's start with Rule#1 for successful marriages-

Happiness starts with me.  Looking for someone else to make me happy never works.  Others can share happiness with me and help me find the happiness inside me, but they can never make me a happy person.  If I want to be happy, I must find happiness inside of me.

Where are you looking for happiness?

Yours to count on,

  Stephen Miller, Founder
  ShareMyHeart.com
  HeroGuys.com, HeroGals.com

ShareMyHeart.com - The Gift of Hope

Last time I shared my feelings about crying and did some myself.  A few days later there are still more tears inside me but the cleansing that comes from letting feelings out has made way for Hope. 

Hope is what keeps most of us going in the tough times.  Over the years, Hope has been my friend in the darkest hours, a light to give me direction.  And I need this friend even now.  I realized that in the past year I have been reinventing myself.  Leaving the comfort and security of being an architect to jump into the wild world of the internet and entrepreneurship.  Letting go of an entire lifestyle to follow a dream.  Even deciding to learn a new language so that I can more effectively share life with my family. 

It's a lot of work this new life thing.  Especially challenging is the emotional work.  My daily dealings with the challenges of life are constantly stretching me.  Do I get down because something didn't work or do I just dig deeper and get after my goals harder.  Hope keeps me going.

When I stop for a moment to catch my breath and look at where I want to go, and where I have been, Hope fills my Heart and I move forward again.  God gave me the Gift of Hope because it wants me to win this race.   I best serve the world by being all I am to help and inspire others live their dreams. 

What is Hope in your life?

Yours to count on,

  Stephen Miller, Founder
  ShareMyHeart.com
  HeroGuys.com, HeroGals.com

ShareMyHeart - Crying

I cried today.  Several times.  It used to be embarrassing, but no more.  Now it is a relief, a reminder that my heart is still beating, that I have lived and have much to be grateful for. 

Sometimes it's music, a piece that stirs my soul in some deep way and unleashes pent up emotions. 
Sometimes it is a sudden euphoric moment, a stunning sunset, the soft rain's sound against the window, again, things that stir my soul, reminders of eternal connections, memories that have sunk to the bottom of my consciousness suddenly rise up to the surface.

...and I cry.

I cry because I miss things that are no more, mostly my wife.  I cry because I am overwhelmed with gratitude for a life filled with more blessings than I can count. 

...and I cry because this miracle we call life simply overwhelms me at times.  Holding my newborn baby nieces leaves me in tears, how could such perfection come to be?

Yes, now I am relieved to cry.  I worry more about me when I am not crying much, when I get so "busy" with whatever that I am not telling those around me how much I love them, when I am not appreciating the beauty of the world I live in, when I am not in gratitude to God for this precious life I have been given. 

Have you cried lately?

Keep doing good.

  Stephen Miller, Founder
  ShareMyHeart.com

ShareMyHeart - The Gift of Love

I have just read the latest edition of Fast Company, stories of the current hot businesses and hot business executives.  And then there was me.  First of all I don't seem to be in "Fast Company" at the moment. Today's company was mostly a two year old nephew who just wanted somebody to play with him and his three three week old baby sisters who wanted someone to either hold or feed them, and occasionally change a poopy diaper.  So what's more important?  Fast company?  Or happy two year olds?

I'm going with the happy two year old.  I certainly feel good at the end of the day when he curls up to sleep with a smile on his face.  However, If I do not to make my business successful (color that green as in profitable), it will be difficult for me to curl up to sleep with a smile on my face at the end of the day. 

ShareMyHeart.com started out as a unique online gift service, a place customers could create personalized love letters to special women in their lives.  Seemed like a great idea.  We packaged it very attractively, added some other items to make the gift more special, and made the process as simple as possible.  The few customers that used the service sent us rave reviews.  The problem is that there have been far too few customers to make the business successful.

My conclusion is that I need more information from the market.  Why are site users not becoming gift givers and product buyers?  What do we need to do better to turn site visitors into gift purchasers?

What do I need to do to more effectively help others give the gift of love most everyone appreciates most-personal expressions of gratitude and appreciation from the heart?  How do I do this and stay connected to my two year old nephew and the two year old inside me?

Something to dream about tonight.

Keep doing good. 

Stephen Miller, Founder

Fear Of Failure

It has been said that it is not failure but success that scares us.  We are afraid of being all that we are.  I know I am.  It's weird, but down inside me there is something that thinks that being everything I dream about will somehow screw up my life.  If I change, I will lose the love I have, never mind the thought that changing could bring me much more love than I can imagine.

HeroGuys.com and HeroGals.com is a stretch for me.  Putting a big ad in the Military Times and sending out a message to servicemen and women around the world that I can help them be more loving and build better relationships with their loved ones...Whoaaaohhh!

Who am I to make such a claim? 

Someone who can look back on my life and see how many times I failed to be more loving.
Someone who knows now that love is all that matters and I can never fail when I live and love from my heart.

Still scares the heck out of me.  How do you deal with such fear?

Stephen Miller, Founder
HeroGuys.com/HeroGals.com